★ ERIC Atkins ★

ERIC Atkins / deV // sandboX
Vitality / On the go // Nothing
from ~~ Huntsville, Alabama

Eric Atkins at Sutro Tower in San Francisco, California

℮ⁿgr & ₮ech№phile.●●●●
eaRTH sui┼ ῡs3r.████
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How to go to a minor league baseball game

  1. Don’t go to any baseball games when you have the chance during the regular season.
  2. Wait until the end of the season is near and try to fit a game into your schedule.
  3. Commit to going to the last regular season game and then back out.
  4. Have your minor league team make the playoffs.
  5. Decide that you had better go see them in the playoffs or you’ll miss out on seeing them this year.
  6. Go to the game.
  7. Park 300-feet from the entrance of the stadium.
  8. Stand in line for tickets.
  9. Have your wife shout “Florida!” when a man with a big stack of tickets asks “Who won the NCAA basketball tournament two years ago?”
  10. Wait for your wife to make a comment about how sexist that question was.
  11. Decide that women’s basketball isn’t really a sport and the question was valid.
  12. Take the tickets.
  13. …that have a special code to get you into the picnic area with free hamburgers, hotdogs, drinks, sides, etc.
  14. Congratulations.  You don’t have to wait in a long line for tickets.
  15. Go right into the stadium.
  16. Go ahead.  Take a pennant that’s being given away at the gates.
  17. Go to the picnic area.
  18. Eat and drink.
  19. Look at your tickets to find out where you are sitting.
  20. Take your seats…which are in the second row near home plate.
  21. Recall why baseball can be boring as you watch 5 1/2 scoreless innings.
  22. Notice that your pitcher has a no-hitter going through 6.
  23. Wonder if anyone in the dugout has told the pitcher that he’s got a no-hitter going.
  24. What?
  25. Wonder why your team pinch-hit for that pitcher in the bottom of the 6th, taking him out of the game.
  26. Watch the next pitcher throw 2 hitless innings.
  27. Your no-hitter is still intact.
  28. Watch the your closer enter the game.
  29. Notice that he’s throwing 100+MPH.
  30. Remark that it really looks like it’s going about 94MPH.
  31. Watch your closer get out of the inning without giving up a hit.
  32. Congratulations.  You just watched the first no-hitter at your team’s stadium.
  33. Sit back.
  34. Watch a spectacular fireworks show for the next 20 minutes.
  35. Go home.
So it was:  super-close parking spot just 10 minutes before the first pitch, free tickets, free food, free drinks, a no-hitter, and free fireworks.

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